Metropolitan Area Express 101

This morning, like all mornings, I was carried to work on the MAX. It swept me up at the Millikan way stop and deposited me right onto 5th avenue, in downtown Portland. In the interim of that journey I was sandwiched between various white and blue collar workers all making the inevitable trek with me.
There is never an open seat when I enter, too many people going to the same central work zone at the same time. That’s okay though because I have learned a few survival tips which have helped me snag a seat here and there and which have also kept me away from the areas on the MAX where people are squished together like grapes coming off a vineyard. (And yes, there is lots of ‘whine’ as a result).
They pardon each others familiarity, but I would rather just avoid it.
The trick is to never stay in front of those sliding doors. It is these doors which open to unveil a mass of people eager to cram themselves into any space available. That includes yours—and any personal bubble you may have too. Soon your airy, spacious spot is overrun with lots and lots of bodies.
It only took me a few weeks to realize that in order to avoid the morning onslaught one must venture past these doors and into the narrow corridors which stretch through each light-rail car. There is so little standing room here that many prefer not to stand there at all. This is why it is a great place to stake your spot.
If you do find yourself caught in front of a door, try to secure yourself to a wall. Put your back against it—not just a hand. That is the best way to retain your territory. If you plaster yourself to that wall, you have something to lean on, and you don’t have people crowding you from all angles. This is the best way to survive the doors of the MAX.
If you want to snag a seat, the corridors are again a good place simply because there is not as much competition. Some people are so eager to sit that they will coyly study their seated neighbors, eyeing the one who seems to be rustling about in preparation of an exit. Don’t be fool enough to think they won’t run you over to sit their tush down. I’ve seen it happen and it’s not pretty.
Another tip, which is not that reliable, but which is sometimes fruitful—Mexican passengers. For a while I was noticing that they where predominantly leaving at the Beaverton Transit stop, which is only two stops after my arrival. I tried to stand next to these fine people. Sometimes I was right and they did leave as expected, at which time I would silently compliment myself on my cleverness. Sometimes, however, my instincts failed me and they sat comfortably all the way downtown. No self compliments for those occurrences. As I said, it is not a reliable system and I have since given up on seeking them out. Besides, it seems a bit exploitive doesn’t it? I must admit, though, that I do the same thing with transients on the way home. If there are no seats, I stand by them. I know there is no way they are going to Beaverton! This tends to be more reliable that the prior I mentioned. Even though it is a bit broad brushed.
Some random bits—the tunnel is the best place to check your reflection and fix any stray hairs etc. The black cloak during this portion of the ride creates a nice reflection effect. The tunnel is also where the possibility of nausea is the highest (at least for me). So be careful not to get too crazy swinging to your tunes and tossing your hair about.
One last thing. It is true that the MAX takes me begrudgingly to the Man, who then puts me to work, pats my head and sends me back nine hours later, but all in all the system is not bad. I must give up props. It saves me gas, I can people-watch and listen to good music all at the same time, and with any luck, I can sit my ass down before my competition. If I achieve that, I have already won my first battle of the day before the clock even strikes 9:00am.