Madness I Say

Black Friday. Whose idea was it to stuff people with turkey on Thursday, and raise them at 4:00 in the morning on Friday? It seems that the Americans fortunate enough to have Friday off should be making good use of that gift by sleeping in and letting all of the food consumed the day prior, shuffle off to its appropriate body part. Nine or ten o’clock should see them finally getting out of bed, walking the distance to the couch and watching college football for at least another hour.

Rising at an ungodly hour such as 4am is really just an insult to all the poor souls who have begrudgingly trenched off to work—donning their work clothes so that all others may sleep and laze around, basking in the excitement of a four day weekend. It is clear to all of these Back Friday workers that the people who are crowding the gates at every Fred Meyers and Macys do not know how to properly honor a day off. I'll give you a hint, its starts with not banging on the doors of every six hour sale, while a wine hangover still lingers from the festivities of the night before.

Personally, I am afraid to dwell within that shopping pack. I could just imagine my horror as I am running through aisle, madly searching for any amazing deal that might not be a complete waste of money. It would be one of those experiences that are so overwhelming; your body just stops and refuses to move. You simply look around, totally at a loss of how to proceed or what world you are living in. Hundreds of crazed soccer moms would be shoving past me, reaching, grabbing, snatching, ready to knife someone for that one last perfect gift that little Tommy just has to have. A twilight zone set it Target. The crowds and sickening materialism would probably become so suffocating that I would, in an amazing show of strength, lift my shopping cart over my head and heave it right in the heart of the crowd. Then I would stomp off and go find those hills that Julie Andrews twirled around on in Sound of Music. Or anywhere that had that kind of space.

What did I do today? I slept in until eight thirty, shuffled out of bed to the distance of the couch and watched Good Morning America while chomping on a bowl of Corn Bran. I did not give one thought to the deals I was missing or the American tradition I was ignoring. This is how a day off should start.

By the time ten o’clock came around many shoppers had already been zipping through the aisles for almost four hours so Ty and I decided to brave it to Best Buy. Mainly, I just followed Ty around, keeping close so as not to lose him. I could just imagine the crowd ripping our hands apart, carrying Ty off to computer parts and pushing me toward kitchen appliances as we futilely tried to fight their crazed Christmas momentum. This did not happen; buts its possibility still makes me shudder. I consider us very lucky.