Work Lessons

My boss has a bottle of Jack Daniels that he keeps in his desk drawer. Next to the bottle is a hammer. Every time I see the two together I have to fight the temptation to snatch the hammer and take a big swing at that pristine glass. I think it’s the blend of fragility and destructiveness in such close proximity that brings about this urge, but it could just be that I hate whiskey…not sure which. Regardless of where this desire is rooted, I can’t help but think how satisfying it would be to crush the glass and watch it give way like an ice pond in Spring holding up a nearing-death-individual. Good times.

Anyway, I came to that inevitable question today… the question that had always been there but was never paid any attention. You know, like the middle child. I found myself harboring a little extra time and—what better way to use it—I decided to stop and really consider this eclectic combo. Hammer. Jack. Jack Hammer? I got a nice private chuckle out of this, but was still unsatisfied. Could be that The Boss just needed a place to put the hammer and the size and dimensions fit well against his whiskey. That just wasn’t fun enough though and severely lacked creativity such that I was accustomed to bringing to the table at a puzzler like this.

So here is what I came up with. Bossman, with his great foresight and wisdom, must have known that when the time came to ‘crack’ this bottle open, it would be a get-this-in-my-system-NOW sort of situation. Everything that could possibly go wrong, will have gone wrong. If he could shoot the stuff, he would. He will need escape quickly and without hindrance. He won’t have time to fiddle with petty devices that keep things in bottles. No, a hammer is what he’ll need. Take that metal to the neck of the glass and you have an instant, handy, wide mouthed opening ready to drain out all contents. Just pound it back and watch reality do a fade to black. Now THAT is setting up your environment for success.

I’m learning a lot at work.